The habit of sexuality

We talked with our therapist last week about what we've been going through recently. Our sex life has gone from hot and steamy (when we first met) to basically non-existent. The usual suspects, kids, job, etc. take up much of my time. I asked her for advice on how to get things started again.

What she told me that people tend to get out of the habit of sexuality. When a relationship is new and exciting, sex comes naturally. But as things move along, unless you work on it, a couple's sexual relationship can go down the toilet. She also told me that this is probably the number one problem she sees in relationships, that a healthy sex life is essential for most relationships.

What she suggested, apart from the normal "make time for your partner", etc., was that we should try to relearn how to think "sexy". To view each other not as we've become, the person who I see every day who takes out the garbage and changes the diapers, but the person we used to be erotically charged about when we met.

Now when I have some time, when things are a bit less hectic, I try and run some sexy scenarios through my brain, reliving some of the more passionate times we've had together. The idea is simply to get back into the *habit* of thinking in a sexual manner.

Like all good things, a passionate relationship takes work to maintain.

Rachel